In the mind of me, an unfit mummy on my first ever 6k mud run ....
There I was stood in Lycra leggings , walking boots , sports top and a gym bra ( yes I said a gym bra ) .
I was pumped raring to go full of energy and itching to start running for I looked the part and mentally felt the part ! Little did I know the full extent of my lack of fitness. I promise you, the realisation was faster than I can devour a bag of crisps.
As the run started I was a little intimidated, stood at the front. Why oh why I was at the front is still baffling me! I think a cloud of naïvety had fogged my judgment!!
Although my position didn't hold concern for long as I was soon, or should I say immediately, over taken by the 'fit ones'. Oh the shame, the embarrassment! We were only 200 yards up the field and already my lungs were saying no ( punishment for the sneaky cig I had an hour before ) so walking ( might I add power walking) took firm hold over my mental well intended non existent run, well jog actually .
I honestly tried to jog, I even wanted to but it seriously was just not happening . So into full swing of my 'power walk' and the 'fit ones' long gone I came to my first obstacle .... Awesome!!!!
Mud mud mud , water and barbed wire, watching everyone trying to crawl through was highly amusing and terrifying as I knew any moment now it would be me .... So, in full Jaz style and in the knowledge that I have two young boys- what's mud to me? I'm built for dirt and muck oh yes ! Head down, butt down, dragging myself through, borderline drinking this smelly mixture of yuck, I realised I loved this , I truly felt like ' peppa pig' .
That was nothing though for there was still an entire course to come and still being smothered in the comfort of my naïvety I thought 'bring it on!' ...
Boy oh boy did it bring it on! , What was I thinking ?.... Actually I know exactly what I was thinking . 'What on earth possessed me to accept this challenge' and this thought sat on my shoulder for the rest of the 6k ! .
After a considerable amount of time jog/walking and ploughing through each challenge in front of me , oh yeah ! Pow! The macho power coursing through my veins I stumbled ( literally ) upon the challenge I was going to find the worst. ' the lake swim' oh no! . I could feel my apprehension brewing with each stride.
I turned to the marshal and expressed my concern for this and we agreed immediately that I could at least try, I really wanted to get through this challenge ....
So there I was teetering on the edge of sanity as I contemplate my approach to the plunge . I can do this , I can so do this! . Just in and swim that's the plan and it's working for everyone else so here goes!! ...
OH MY GIDDY AUNT!!!!!! ( not my original choice of words but I'm being polite) ,No way no way , I can't even breath , ok so I knew to expect cold but complete body paralysis - really? So in a split second I understand and accept the fact that there is no way I can swim it ( considering the fact I can't even breath) . So I heave my chest out of the cold and reassuringly feel the air return to my lungs, which was immediately expelled with force to share to the nearest person ' GET ME OUT '
Haha! In seconds I was once again stood on the jetty of doom but thankfully with the terror behind me , still the walk of shame as I passed all those waiting to own the challenge was embarrassing to say the least , every one was so kind about it though . I walk up to the marshal and he blurts out ' ready for your forfeit' , I had forgot this part we were told at the beginning miss a challenge take the forfeit!
What are you going to make me do was my response , then to my relief the St. John's man wandered over looked me up and down and said to the marshal ' come on give her a break ' ... ok so I was over the moon but did I really look that awful after my arctic experience? for I actually felt fine and could have taken my forfeit ( although I didn't share that knowledge ) .
Onwards I go and it felt like forever, my brief dip had not been enough to remove the mud mask I was wearing but I kept telling myself that at least my skin will be gorgeous after! .. And after feeling the coldest of waters the muddy swampy barbed 'puddles' now felt like tropical springs in comparison .
After what felt like a lifetime of gruelling torment in the form of tyre carrying and mud crawling , the distance jogging that felt never ending and a reoccurring stitch , that kept trying to disable me , and remind me that this challenge is not one to be started from the sofa ( I was fully aware of this and really didn't need the stitch to confirm the obvious
).
I was close to the end !!! Spectators everywhere, now for me this is where it got really tiresome as I needed to keep up appearances and pretend to look 'fit' woah! Lung overload ..... But first the best bit apart from being allowed to get as muddy as you can we are now presented with the delight of a giant slip slide , the marshal is even throwing soapy water down for each runner !.
I saw this as a chance for a break so on my tummy I relaxed and let gravity take me to be shocked at the speed that my face was approaching a pair of feet ! . It's ok I was fine , I safely and remarkably gracefully got onto my feet at the end and broke into my 'I'm a pro jog'
Fire pits oh my ! Now they really didn't look to big, but when my turn arose to jump them I swear it felt like leaping the Grand Canyon for my little legs were apparently exhausted ! But this is no time to look weak for everyone is watching so I was mentally chanting to myself 'like a pro , like a pro ' this mantra seem enough to kid myself for the last stretch ! And bearing in mind the fact that I 'power walked' most of the course I shouldn't really complain .
Next thing I knew the marshal had thrown me a 'grenade' to aim at a cut out , for some reason at the exact time I attempted to throw it all the bones and muscles in my arm decided to abandon me .... I couldn't have looked more pathetic if I tried , oh well next challenge and the most deceiving of them all .
So it just looked like a maze of rope ( imagine the laser beams that protect valuables in the movies), thing is these ropes had a massive 'high voltage' sign attached, ummm! Ok this could hurt !
With nerves pulsing through me and fear of exchanging those nerves for electric charges I went for it! . I decided I would adopt the theory of ' stay low and don't touch the rope ' and it was serving me well , very well indeed, until the point that I decided to climb over one of the ropes , by now I'd convinced myself that it's just a bluff and no charge in it .... Bigger fool me !! Wowser !!!
It felt like id left my right leg behind. Turns out they weren't bluffing! . By this point a crazy laughter was pouring out of me and the smile from ear to ear must have made me look. Like a mad woman but hey I done it ... I COMPLETED MY FIRST 6K MUD RUN !!
I proudly put on my medal and downed my bottle of water I truly felt on top of the world....
Thank you for reading my experience now here's a few lessons I learnt .
* I am not fit
* run every time there's a camera ( photo evidence makes me look pro)
* Back 2 The Trenches do not bluff !
I can look back now and appreciate the completion of my personal challenge and now look forward to TRAINING for 'over the top 10 k' on March 23rd .... This time I will be doing it for the charity ' lymphoma association '
Yes I'm mad enough to go through it all again ( but hopefully more prepared ) wish me luck !!!
